I'm so sick.

I'm sick. And not in the way many people think. I'm not sick where in a few days it will go away. I'm not sick that it will stay with me forever. I'm stuck in the middle, it's something that I will have to deal with and could go away. I hate this feeling. I hate when my stomach hurts so bad all I want to do is lay in bed scrunched up and cry. I hate that I can't eat like I used to and feel so nauseated and sick that I feel like I'm going to puke. I can't handle the feeling I get when I haven't ate anything and yet my stomach feels so full. I hate that I'm losing so much weight, making my skin sag, and my cheek bones poke through. I hate that my friends think that I'm going to get better in a few days and what they don't understand is that I'm in the doctors every other day, for being physically sick, and for having severe depression. I can't handle this horrible feeling anymore, I wish that I could just go to sleep and wake up and realize that all this was a crazy horrible nightmare. I wish that they could fix me, but nothing's working, nothing's ever going to work because maybe I'm making myself sick. I worry and make myself sick. I hate everything that's going on and now it's come to the point where I'm just done and I don't want to do ANYTHING anymore. I want to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and just cry until I'm dead. But I can't do that and it really just sucks that I'm going to suffer through all this.