Scared

I'm not fine,
or okay,
happy,
or out going.


I'm sick,
and tired,
alone and,
scared.


I'm not cool,
and calm,
collected,
and bright.


I'm mad,
as hell,
a mess and,
scared.


I'm not friendly,
or hip,
nice and,
smart.


I'm ugly,
and terrifying,
poor, alone,
and Scared.

Hands

My momma said if he holds your purse,
snap him up while you can,
because it's a sure fire thing,
he's not afraid to hold a hand.


That's the guy you'll be with,
forever and till the end,
and he'll never let go,
of that little hand.


And when that hand is ready,
on it he'll put a ring,
then he'll take the other hand,
and tell you you're the prettest thing,


And with that other hand,
he'll hold his baby girl,
and cry as she takes his,
as her fingers begin to curl.


He'll hold on tight,
to his two best girls until the very end,
when he lets go of the hand of his little girl,
and place it in her man's. 


This poem was written about my friend cause he carried my friend's purse at the mall. We made fun of him and when I got home I told my mom and then she said exactly what was in the poem. I submitted this poem into a national poetry contest and I made it to the finals for a $1000 prize, but unfortunately I didn't win but I did get editors choice. :/ Just a little certificate! lol but enjoy! 

Sigh

I seen his picture today, and I burst into laughter, not because that's what I when I see him, but the picture was funny. It makes it hard, looking at his picture and knowing that fuck he'll never be mine. And maybe people are like, oh Faith you're so Silly, but face it. Bill will never be mine. He's always sad, and stuff, but he can do a whole lot better than me and that's why he'll never be mine. :\ 

One day, I'd just like to look at myself and say, Damn, that chick is so fucking beautiful. But, until that day comes I'm just left with broken hopes and sad faces. I know, it's typical for a teenager to have self conscious issues, but this is ridiculousness. I think it's because of the people at my school. I swear, it's like me a whale living with a bunch of eels. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, because everyday I have to face these people who just treat me like shit, it's not all of them believe me, but it's just awful sitting with your group of friends surrounded by them and their boyfriends and I'm just like, so last night me and 99 cats watched Titanic, and I just cried my eyes out... lol. In my head, I'm like, You need a man (I said that in my head in a thick southern accent like those old ladies in movies do when they are at the hair dresser but anyway) and on days where this obviously seems logical if I get a boyfriend everything would be instantly better, but how can someone love me if I can't love myself. I don't know am I crazy? Am I the only one who feels this way? I see these guys on facebook, seems like they are always sad or what ever, and I wonder do guys go through the same thing? I mean this one guy um... names BILL, Well, he's the nicest, sweetest guy I've ever met in my life, and LAWD is he hot, but he's so sad, like wtf? He could go to Hollywood and get the hottest girl on this planet, any girl would be lucky to have him, but he's always sad? If I told him all this do you think he would believe me? HA nvm like I'd ever grow lady balls enough to tell him how wonderful he is. PEEESHAW! Right now the only thing that gives me strength sometimes is music, and knowing if I wasn't here people would be really upset, which to some people might give them a reason to be like well, you have it good, but for me it's like a trap like really? Why do so many people care about me so I have to live all the time for them... selfish bastards lol. God, If my mom ever read this lol. Well, I gotta go... I'm tired and now my mood is down the drain. 

First Post

Okay so as my first post it must be obviously one to tell people about myself. My name's Faith. I live in Delta, Ohio (don't ask it's in the middle of no where) I live in Delta but go to Evergreen Schools, where I am a Sophomore. I hate being a Sophomore, It's like you don't belong in anywhere, not upper-class but old enough to be more than under-class. I should be a Junior but in Forth grade I was beat up pretty bad by some punk kid and was in the hospital for a while, so I missed a lot of school and I was "held back" I say "held back" because I could have gone into 5th grade, I was smart enough but, I felt going back to forth grade was better, I needed to catch up on things I missed. Anyway, I'm 17 years old and I'm probably more mature than most 30 year olds, but you wouldn't know that when I'm around my crazy friends and just because I crack a dirty joke, doesn't mean I'm immature. Things I like to do consist of: Singing, laughing, watching TV and Movies, Reading, writing novels and poetry, and sometimes occasionally I like to lose my mind. :) Hmmm... I doubt anyone would read this but maybe that's for the best :/ hahahah but just in case I should change people's names if I ever feel the urge to write about one of them. But WOO HOO First Post! :)