One day, I'd just like to look at myself and say, Damn, that chick is so fucking beautiful. But, until that day comes I'm just left with broken hopes and sad faces. I know, it's typical for a teenager to have self conscious issues, but this is ridiculousness. I think it's because of the people at my school. I swear, it's like me a whale living with a bunch of eels. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, because everyday I have to face these people who just treat me like shit, it's not all of them believe me, but it's just awful sitting with your group of friends surrounded by them and their boyfriends and I'm just like, so last night me and 99 cats watched Titanic, and I just cried my eyes out... lol. In my head, I'm like, You need a man (I said that in my head in a thick southern accent like those old ladies in movies do when they are at the hair dresser but anyway) and on days where this obviously seems logical if I get a boyfriend everything would be instantly better, but how can someone love me if I can't love myself. I don't know am I crazy? Am I the only one who feels this way? I see these guys on facebook, seems like they are always sad or what ever, and I wonder do guys go through the same thing? I mean this one guy um... names BILL, Well, he's the nicest, sweetest guy I've ever met in my life, and LAWD is he hot, but he's so sad, like wtf? He could go to Hollywood and get the hottest girl on this planet, any girl would be lucky to have him, but he's always sad? If I told him all this do you think he would believe me? HA nvm like I'd ever grow lady balls enough to tell him how wonderful he is. PEEESHAW! Right now the only thing that gives me strength sometimes is music, and knowing if I wasn't here people would be really upset, which to some people might give them a reason to be like well, you have it good, but for me it's like a trap like really? Why do so many people care about me so I have to live all the time for them... selfish bastards lol. God, If my mom ever read this lol. Well, I gotta go... I'm tired and now my mood is down the drain.